One of the problems with the self-improvement world generally is that a lot of the motivational stuff oftentimes veers into delusion and outright falsity. The "cult" of staying positive has gotten to the point where you can’t say girls care about looks or money without somebody being like “nuh uh, you just gotta act alpha. I’m ugly and I fucked a model once.” Shut up. No matter how “alpha” you act very few 10s are going to get with an ugly guy living in his mom’s basement unless they are super desperate. However, I have learned that one can be happier and more successful if you accept the harsh truths. More importantly, every harsh truth has a fact in it that should make you more confident. Here are harsh truths and how you can use them to your advantage.

Harsh Truth: Tangibles matter Looks matter to women. Money matters to women. How you dress matters to women. How tall you are matters to women (a lot). If everything about 2 guys was the same, and one guy was taller, most women would pick the taller guy. Sorry, but it’s true. Of course, women also care about personality and game, but anybody who denies that tangibles matteris either 1) lying to you so they can sell you some overpriced PUA bullshit or 2) has some serious problem with their ego and need to feed it crazy lies. Even worse, a lot of women are impressed by tangibles that are fucking stupid, like tattoos, or dressing like a hipster, or being a “bad boy” (dealing drugs, having a silly haircut), or being in the “celebrity” world somehow.

Now, I will admit that looks and stuff are not as important to women as they are to guys. Women look for a lot more different variables, so a lot of times ugly looking guys can get women if they are also smart, successful, have game, etc... And a lot of guys with good tangibles psych themselves out by assuming that all girls only want rich dudes with yachts when that’s not the case. I will also admit that when approaching that you shouldn’t worry about your tangibles or lack of tangibles and just sarge ahead. So one should keep a healthy perspective. But don’t act like tangibles don’t matter. They do.

Also, guys should not be mad that tangibles matter to women. You like big asses, a pretty face and big titties, right? So don’t be mad at women for liking stupid shit too. I know tons of guys that would turn down a smart, intelligent, good woman for a dumb, crazy asshole so long as the asshole had tig ol bits.

Why you should be happy Once you’ve accepted that women are impressed by tangibles you can do two things: 1) work on improving your tangibles and 2) disconnect your sense of self-worth from whether women like you. You can’t control how tall you are, so if woman are going to go after tall guys, you should stop feeling bad about yourself for not getting women. Focus on being the best version of you that you can be, and if women like you, great. And if they don’t, who cares? They want something stupid anyway. Tons of women ruin their own lives by chasing guys with stupid tangibles; don’t get mad at yourself for not being one of those guys.

Harsh Truth Some women just won’t like you Sometimes you can be “perfect” for a woman on paper and she still won’t like you. You can look good, your game may be on point, do everything by the PUA book, but still, nada. That’s fucking ok. Some women want a very particular thing, and you are not that thing. A few times I’ve gotten rejected by a girl and later in the night, I see that same woman with a huge black guy dressed like a gangster, something that I am totally not. I don’t get mad because I realize that she just likes big black guys and I can’t be mad at myself for not being that. Of course, with good enough game, you can probably get any woman for at least a short amount of time, but honestly, how long do you think a nerdy computer engineer is going to keep a model that wants to fuck celebrities around?

The upside of this rule is that sometimes women will like you and you’ll be surprised. I’m a nerdy Middle Eastern guy, which means that a lot of women say “no” to me right off the bat (of course, I can convince them otherwise, but I usually don’t bother unless they are something truly special). But the weird thing is that there are some women that really like nerdy Middle Eastern guys. I’ve banged models and Playboy playmates just based on the fact that they like brownie. I even have a lot of Jewish girls that dig me because I’m the “enemy.”

What’s worse is that some women that don’t really like you will jerk you around to fill their own loneliness or until something better comes along. If you’ve been getting fucked with by a woman for a while, you should consider that she just doesn’t give a shit about you. She can get to know you, see you at your best, an dyou can do a great job, but at the end of the day, she still may not give a fuck. Once you accept that, you can get out of shitty relationships.

Why you should be happy You should be happy that some women just won’t like you because now you know that if a woman rejected you, it’s not because of anything you said or did or because something is wrong with you. She just may not like you. Just focus on improving and doing the right thing and don’t let individual rejections get you down.

Harsh Truth: Some people are just broken Every guy has at some point been in “love” with some woman who treated him like shit or started off nice and then she “suddenly changed” or cheated on him out of the blue even though it seemed like she loved him too. Those relationships really fuck you up because you are constantly thinking about why she is doing it. Here is the truth: sometimes people are just broken and there isn’t shit you can do to fix them. I don’t care how much you love Lamborghinis, if a Lambo crashes into a tree, you can’t drive it anymore. Period. And unlike Lambos, it is much harder to fix people because they are complicated and a lot of times don’t want to be fixed. If somebody is broken it usually takes years of therapy to fix them, if they are fixable at all. Worse than people who are damaged are people that are just trash. At least damaged people have some hope and ambition, trashy people are just always going to be lazy, trashy pieces of shit that will never accomplish anything. The fucked up thing about trashy people is that sometimes they can dress up nice and convince people they are not trash.

Why you should be happy Easy: instead of obsessing over them, just cut them loose and save yourself tons of headache and heartache. There are guides on the internet about how to find out if a person is damaged. Read them and cut loose any girl that is damaged that is hurting you. Of course, its fun to fuck crazy bitches every once in a while, but just know what you’re dealing with.

Harsh Truth: Women aren’t rejecting you, they are rejecting your appearance This one is self-explanatory. I went to a very exclusive party hosted by Usher one night in Miami. I approached a lot and quickly realized that every single woman there was receptive to my advances, even super-hot models and stuff. My outfit and hair were nothing special, and I realized that a big reason women were digging me was because I got into the party in the first place. Just getting in made them think that I was somehow important in the entertainment or music world. I wasn’t – I was a college student who got in because my friend who was a huge Miami ho and had a lot of connections, but I still had the APPEARANCE of being somebody, and that’s what mattered. I ended up banging a really hot model that night. Meanwhile, there have been nights when I go into a shitty dive bar and get rejected by the fat girl sitting by herself because to her, I’m a nobody. It’s ok. It’s part of the game.

Why you should be happy It’s a sad truth that women judge you by appearance. But the upside is that once you get rejected, you know she didn’t reject “you,” but your appearance, which may not have been on point. So there is no reason for your ego or self-esteem to feel hurt. And more importantly, putting together a good appearance is pretty easy. Cut your hair, put some gel in it, dress like you’re rich, wear a crazy tie, and get into the VIP section of wherever you’re at. That’s really all you have to do.

Harsh Truth: People think in stereotypes Middle Eastern guys are smelly, creepy, terrorists. Black guys are violent, aggressive thugs. Asians are weird nerds with small dicks. None of those statements are true. But they are common stereotypes and people think in stereotypes and you can’t pretend otherwise. It’s just a fact about our society. If you are a black guy and you walk into a club full of white people dressed like you’re in a rap video, most white girls there are going to ignore you unless they have some weird thing for black guys. If you’re a middle eastern guy and you show up with a weird unshaven beard smelling musty with a striped polo shirt with some khaki pants that don’t fit, you’re going to look like every other weird brown guy in the club. Yes, it’s unfair and racist and fucked up and unjust, but that’s the world we live in.  

Why you should be happy The fact that people think in stereotypes is a GREAT thing for minorities, because all you need to do to stand out is break your stereotype. If you’re a middle eastern guy, dress like a redneck. If you’re a black guy, dress like a preppy nerd. If you’re an Asian, dress like a frat brother. By breaking your stereotype, you immediately stand up and make women want to “figure you out.”  

Harsh Truth: People think in stereotypes Everything you learn about relationships and dating in movies, pop culture and literature is wrong. This post isn’t long enough to go into all the details, but just know that if you rely on those things to tell how you to act, you will die alone with your dick in your hand.   

Why you should be happy: 99% of guys still believe in the rosy, bullshit picture of relationships portrayed in pop culture, so you have an advantage over those guys.

Harsh Truth: Everything and everybody is fake Go to any fancy bar in any big city. You will see lots of pretty women in nice dresses. They look rich, right? About 30% of them are hookers, guaranteed. We live in a world of appearance, and that means that everything and everybody is fake. Anything that anybody ever tells you might be a lie. That girl at the club with banging tits? They’re fake, and she is wearing a dress to emphasize her tits because her ass sucks. Also, she probably has a coke problem and severe mental issues. That sweet, innocent girl that you want to marry? She has probably gotten gangbanged by a Mexican gang. The appearance that people put out is purely a show.

Why you should be happy There is no real upside on this one. It’s just something you have to navigate.