TLDR: Act normal around girls and resist your evolutionary impulses to supplicate

Here is a common scenario: You’re at the bar with your best guy friends. Your bros are the coolest guys ever – they are funny, smart, chill, friendly, outgoing, etc.. Then your friends and you start talking to a group of girls, and lo and behold, your friends completely change. They literally become different people! Instead of being their normal, awesome selves your friends start acting weird around the girls. They nervously trip over their words, lose their confidence, act overly friendly, and strangest of all, they literally sound stupider than normal. Weirded out by your friends’ behavior, the girls leave. What the fuck happened?

Your friends’ behavior changed for 2 reasons: 1) our society, by way of the media, schools, our parents, etc…, teaches us that women are weird, delicate creatures that must be supplicated to and worshipped. So men act like pathetic creeps around women they are attracted to. 2) More importantly, when men are around a woman a series of biological reactions (programmed by evolution) take place in their bodies that cause them to act differently, making them horny, supplicating, controlling, and generally weird. These hormonal emotions hijack men’s thoughts, make them stupider, and make them think crazy things like its suddenly ok to buy a complete stranger a drink and tell her she is God’s gift to humanity. These emotions are so strong and common that this type of behavior is now considered “normal” when men interact with women, and men that do not act this way are considered “assholes.”

Men must learn to control these emotions and act normal. Women take longer than men to become emotionally invested in relationships. Women enjoy being supplicated to, but only after they have formed some attraction to the guy. Otherwise, they just think the guy is being weird and creepy. Human beings are grossed out by people with emotions that are different than theirs. That’s why people hate others with different religions, national origins, musical tastes, etc… Because people feel differently from us, we can’t sympathize with them, and we see them as weird, crazy, or (at worst) dangerous. Because women don’t understand men’s emotions, they get a little freaked out and less likely to form an emotional connection.

Without further ado, here are the emotions men need to control:

1) The desire to immediately have sex with as many women as possible: Evolution has wired men to pursue sex with as many women as possible as fast as possible to spread our seed far and wide. Women, on the other hand, actually have to get pregnant, so they are looking for the most high-status male that will be the most stable provider for the baby. In sum, men want sex RIGHT NOW, whereas women want to find a man that is attractive over the long term. Men's strongest desires are much more short-term than women’s. This is why women take longer to become emotionally invested in relationships, and why men have to not look overly interested early on.

The insane desire to have sex immediately makes men do stupid things like text girls pictures of their dick or send OkCupid messages like “Hey let’s fuck.” But even for guys that are too smart for that, men’s sexual desire still causes subtle changes in behavior. Men literally become stupider when they are in the presence of a really hot girl (studies have shown this). You can’t control it – it’s in your biology. Women’s femininity literally enchants men. You have to fight these impulses and act completely normally - like Kate Upton was a fat, 300 lb man. Stop staring at her like a delicious chicken on a rotisserie and act like she’s just a person standing there. Remember, women don’t have this insane, immediate sexual desire so they are thinking rationally and you just look like a weirdo to them. In fact, you can immediately stand out around a really hot woman but not acting like another drooling idiot.

Here’s the problem: Many guys are TOO AWARE of this problem, and end up overcompensating and never expressing any sexual desire to women at all. Men literally are ashamed of their sexuality or feel like they can’t express it until the very last second. This is what lands men in the friendzone. There is nothing wrong with telling women you are sexually interested in them (even if you just met) – you just have to match her emotions. Instead of looking like a horny animal who will fuck anything right now (which you are), men should act like women – you want to have sex, but only with a stable, high quality individual who has proven themselves. By matching women’s emotions you form an emotional connection with her.

2) The provider instinct: Just as women are wired to look for a stable provider, men are wired to want to provide. This is why men buy women drinks. An extreme manifestation of this desire is when old men buy porn stars stuff over the internet even though they will never meet them, much less bang them. Of course, women want to be provided for, but not until they are attracted to you and their own irrational emotions have kicked in. Until then, you’re just a weird guy buying them stuff. They will happily take the stuff and think you’re a weird idiot.

It’s PUA 101 that you should never buy a woman drinks, but the provider instinct also manifests itself in subtler, more subconscious ways. A lot of guys supplicate in conversations, agreeing with everything the girl says, letting her dictate the flow of the conversation, letting her ramble about stupid or boring shit, or flooding her with excessive compliments. Women hates this because they want to have a normal, rational conversation, not a weird dialogue where you suck her dick. Women know when they’re full of shit, and its really unattractive to agree with nonsense. To a rational person a supplicating provider looks like a desperate, lonely, overly invested, loser. Feminists act like the infamous “nice guys” are manipulative assholes that are trying to trade stupid little favors for sex. But in reality, “nice guys” are just regular dudes that have been tricked by society and their provider instinct into thinking that to “get” the girl they need to do a bunch of shit for her.

The most dangerous thing about the provider instinct is that women are attracted to assertive men that take the lead and control every step of the interaction, and the provider instinct often makes men act the complete opposite.

Like your sex drive, you have to work hard to control this instinct. When a women goes fishing for compliments you have to resist the urge to get on your knees and worship her. You also have to repress your desire to do whatever she wants or go wherever she wants. Basically, you have to act NORMAL around her – if she wants you to do something stupid, annoying or degrading you have to say “no”. You may even have to overcompensate by acting more self-involved, cocky, and “douchey” than you normally are.

3) The protector instinct: Just as women are evolutionarily wired to find a provider, they also want a big, strong, masculine man to protect them and their baby from wild beasts and lower status men who may try to fuck them. But in our society you rarely have to physically defend the girl you are with, but the protector instinct still exists, manifesting itself as the man treating the woman like she is weak or delicate or needs to be protected from difficult situations or arguments. The clearest example of this are “white knights”: men who feel the need to defend women in arguments because the women are too weak/stupid to do so. Women are physically weaker than men, but they aren’t mentally weaker, so the protector instinct comes off as condescending, demeaning and supplicating.

4) Rejection/social anxiety: Human beings are wired to see their communities as hierarchical. We all have a place in that hierarchy and we feel social anxiety around people that we perceive to be “above us” in the hierarchy. Social anxiety is designed to make us not to do anything disrespectful that might “challenge” their position. We are afraid that if we act overly confident/cocky they will reject us and leave us in the jungle alone with no food. Social anxiety has been shown to cause people to literally act “low-status”: bad posture, submissive, quiet, low energy, etc… Interestingly, when masculine men get around men that are much more high-status than them, they literally start acting “feminine” and submissive to not make the “master” angry. Rejection and social anxiety are very unattractive to women: they want men higher than them in the social hierarchy, not lower.

Rejection anxiety commonly manifests itself as approach anxiety, i.e., when a man won’t approach a woman in a bar because he is afraid she will reject him. But it can manifest itself in other ways. The man may be nervous, overly supplicating when he speaks to the woman, or just generally not “himself.” My friends, the most awesome guys ever, threw away all their funniness/personality/charm because they were afraid they would “offend” the girls. Men suffering from rejection/social anxiety may be afraid to challenge a woman’s opinions, say something controversial or even walk away when she does something disrespectful. You have to conquer this emotion because women want a high status male who is confident, sure of himself, will take the lead, and doesn’t give a fuck what anybody thinks. And you always need to be able to walk away if she acting badly.

Women like being challenged and, as we know, women “shit test” guys to see if they really are high-status. I live in the south and sometimes a woman will casually say something blatantly racist about black people (I’m Middle Eastern). At first, I didn’t say anything because of rejection anxiety: I didn’t want to make her mad and end the date. But I realized that saying racist things was a mild shit test, so I started speaking up: I would say “I don’t judge people on their skin color, and I don’t think you should either.” It was awkward, it broke the mood, and it was a little rude. But I knew I was “right” and girls came to respect me for that. Standing up against racism made me look confident, sure of myself, and ultimately more moral (racists know they’re being assholes). Men rarely challenge hot girl’s opinions so hot girls are attracted to that.

5) The feminine instinct: I can’t really explain why, but I’ve noticed men act more feminine when around women. It might have to do with social anxiety or the provider instinct. Maybe men are wired to be more caring and nurturing when they are around their baby. Maybe the man feels a “connection” with the woman and starts to act like her. Doesn't matter why: women don’t like it: women are attracted to masculinity – that’s why they want a MAN! As Katt Williams says, “if the woman wanted a bitch nigga she would just get herself a bitch, nigga.” Don’t compromise your masculinity around women.

6) The desire to control her: – Men provide for women, but also want to control her so she won't carry the food and baby away. To women, this is the creepiest desire. It has become completely unacceptable in our society for men to try to control a woman in any way, even when married. But this desire still comes out in subtle, creepy ways. You ask a girl to come somewhere and when she says “no” you automatically ask her again, almost in a begging tone. This is your desire to control her. It’s creepy and pathetic. Stop it. If a woman says “no” to you for any reason you immediately change the subject like it didn’t even happen. An insane example of this emotion is when a man yells “what a bitch!” after a woman rejects him, as if she had some obligation to talk to him.

When you talk to girls make her think that you would be fine if she walked away. (you still need to look interested though – it’s a balancing act) . But if you’re in a committed relationship with a woman and she inappropriately interacts with other guys you have a right to make her stop and dump her if she doesn’t.

7) Love: – Ahhh, love. The most abused, misunderstood, and evil concept in our modern society. Honestly, I don’t know if “love” if its own emotion or a weird conglomeration of all the other emotions I’ve written about, but we all have had that strange feeling that we are inextricably “connected” to another person in some magical way. No matter how deep or powerful love feels, you have to realize that the woman may not feel the same way. And like I’ve noted, it takes women longer than men to fall in “love.” Love causes all kinds of weird behaviors, which I’m not going to even try to list.

Scientists have shown that human beings have an inborn sense of “fairness” where they assume that everything happens for a reason and if they do something nice for somebody it will be reciprocated. I think perhaps the feeling of “love” comes from the idea that if a man does something for a woman (or feels something for a woman) he expects her to reciprocate. So even though she has done nothing to indicate interest, in his head she is in love with him. That’s a theory.

Whew! That was a lot. How can a man control ALL OF THOSE emotions?? Well, it takes practice. But once you get good you become a God among men. You become much more attractive to women because you are literally the only guy acting normal. Very few men even know they have these irrational impulses. Remember, women, even super hot ones, are around normal men 90% of the time. The guy at the bank that controls her mortgage isn’t playing the provider or supplicating to her – he’s trying to get his fucking money. So women know what normal men are like. So they can tell when you’re being weird.

One last thing: please don’t take this article as indicating that you shouldn’t show interest when speaking to a girl. You totally should. In fact, you should immediately let a girl know that you are interested in dating her. You should also let her know you want to fuck her as soon as you can. But you need to do it in a rational way that she understands, rather than letting your insane emotions guide your actions.